I wrote this piece awhile back and wanted to post it today as a Mother's Day tribute to my wonderful 81 year old mom, Dorothy Espey Bowen.
Cora Mae....my fingers trace the mysterious flaking letters that many years ago were embossed in bright, yellow gold on the small, worn Bible.
Cora Mae....my mother's birth name! The name represents a part of Mother's past that seems locked away forever. Little is known of her beginnings. There are few photos of the tiny, black-haired girl, her face reflecting a lost loneliness that brings pain to my heart.
Eventually adopted by an older couple so she could "take care of them", her life was filled with drudgery...scrubbing floors on her hands and knees, carrying heavy buckets of coal for the furnace, wall papering rooms with high ceilings, caring for her invalid "step-grandmother", sleeping alone in a cold, dirty, attic.
Cora Mae...I wonder how many times her hands held this Bible as silent tears fell on it's pages.
And now I proudly hold the same Book, wrapped in a beautiful white ribbon and bow, on my wedding day. Mother is beside me for just a few moments before the organ begins the Bridal March, and her eyes are filled with love, the love I have seen all the years of my life.
Love for me, the oldest of her seven children, love for her husband, my father, the minister she stood beside so faithfully for many years, and love for God, the One she came to know through the Book I now hold in my hands.
Mother will forever be my inspiration, and my role model. Possessing little, she has given much. Having few educational opportunities, she has shared her wisdom with many. Lacking eloquence, she speaks the language of kindness and empathy.
Cora Mae...I will treasure the Book and the love of the one who gave it - always.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
I slowly got out of my car and began walking toward the front entrance of Thomasville Middle School. It was about 7:30 a.m. and I felt sleepy AND a little grumpy about substitute teaching that day.
I noticed a teacher greeting the students at the front entrance as they were dropped off for school. I didn't know the teacher's name, had never met him but.....Wow! He was REALLY dressed up....a black suit, white shirt, and red tie. The thought passed through my mind that there MUST be a special assembly; I had NEVER seen a teacher at school dressed in a suit.
As I got closer I called out, "Is there something special going on? You look awfully nice in your suit." He responded with a loud, hardy, "WELL, PRAISE GOD!" I was really taken aback and I suppose looked a bit surprised. As I walked toward him, he shouted again, "WELL, PRAISE GOD!" I gave a rather weak "Amen" as he explained. "I have grumbled and complained so much that I just decided that I need to STOP complaining and START praising......so I'm PRAISING GOD today!"
As I walked in the front door my spirits were raised considerably! But I also felt a twinge of guilt.
I reflected on the fact that I, too, have grumbled, complained, worried, and murmured about anything and everything. I began to wonder what my attitude says about my faith and trust in God when I constantly question what He's doing. It surely must make His heart sad when I'm unappreciative and proud, taking for granted His blessings, complaining over every delay, hardship, or trial that come along.
So, I've decided to PRAISE GOD! When things go right or wrong to MY way of thinking I remember that He DOES have a plan, I don't KNOW the plan so I just need to TRUST and PRAISE GOD!!!! You know what? I think God REALLY likes it!!!!!
I noticed a teacher greeting the students at the front entrance as they were dropped off for school. I didn't know the teacher's name, had never met him but.....Wow! He was REALLY dressed up....a black suit, white shirt, and red tie. The thought passed through my mind that there MUST be a special assembly; I had NEVER seen a teacher at school dressed in a suit.
As I got closer I called out, "Is there something special going on? You look awfully nice in your suit." He responded with a loud, hardy, "WELL, PRAISE GOD!" I was really taken aback and I suppose looked a bit surprised. As I walked toward him, he shouted again, "WELL, PRAISE GOD!" I gave a rather weak "Amen" as he explained. "I have grumbled and complained so much that I just decided that I need to STOP complaining and START praising......so I'm PRAISING GOD today!"
As I walked in the front door my spirits were raised considerably! But I also felt a twinge of guilt.
I reflected on the fact that I, too, have grumbled, complained, worried, and murmured about anything and everything. I began to wonder what my attitude says about my faith and trust in God when I constantly question what He's doing. It surely must make His heart sad when I'm unappreciative and proud, taking for granted His blessings, complaining over every delay, hardship, or trial that come along.
So, I've decided to PRAISE GOD! When things go right or wrong to MY way of thinking I remember that He DOES have a plan, I don't KNOW the plan so I just need to TRUST and PRAISE GOD!!!! You know what? I think God REALLY likes it!!!!!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
There is Still PRAYER in PUBLIC SCHOOL!
As a substitute teacher, I walked into the classroom yesterday morning with the familiar sense of trepidation and anticipation. One always HOPES for a good day but middle school students can be a handful....especially on a FRIDAY!!! However, I felt positive and was praising God for the opportunity to interact with 8th graders and earn a living!!
As first block students came in I greeted them with a smile, introduced myself and gave the assignment the teacher had left on the desk. Most students began doing the work quietly. But there were five boys at one table who seemed oblivious to the fact that there was a teacher in the classroom and I quickly lost control as they became disruptive. They talked loudly, began walking about the room, and throwing paper wads.
One boy was extremely rude and argumentative. He went from one table to the next doing NO WORK at all. After about thirty minutes he suddenly became studious and asked me to help him with the pronunciation of words. When he brought his book to me I saw that he was on the WRONG chapter (purposefully) and only wanted me to pronounce the words because they were about body parts that were a little embarrassing to say out loud. I asked him to sit down. He refused and continued to whine, "But I can't read these words. How do you say THIS? How do you pronounce THIS? Ms. Klass, you won't even help me." He kept this up for three or four minutes really trying my patience. He was a problem the entire time.
Another little boy was so defiant that I wrote him up and sent him to the office. A girl offered to escort him but I heard one of the kids whisper to her, "When you get in the hall, tear up the discipline form." So I called the office and told them he was coming alone.
A couple girls came to the desk at least four times and stuck their paper right under my nose in a demanding way saying, "I can't get this question." I think they had sprayed something on the paper because they would rudely push it in right into my face!
When the buzzer rang for dismissal I couldn't believe what happened. As the children RACED out the door I was hit with a barrage of paper wads and balled up paper!!! They had to have planned this final insult!!! I felt like bursting into tears and going home. (Later, when I thought about it, it seemed rather funny but at the time I was devastated.)
Fortunately second block was a planning block so I collected myself and decided I wouldn't let the situation get the best of me. (Actually, I HAVE been in MUCH worse!!!) I called my husband and mom and asked them to pray for me. I had brought some scripture verses in my bag to try to memorize so I got them out and read the following:
"....and what is the exceeding greatness of His power to usward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, which He wrought in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead, and set Him at His own right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: and hath PUT ALL THINGS UNDER HIS FEET......" (Eph. 1:19-22a)
God prompted me with the thought, "Put the verse into practice!!!" I felt impressed to begin a "prayer walk" around the classroom!!! I walked to each table praying over EVERY CHAIR asking God to give the students a desire to learn. I prayed for a quiet, peaceful, classroom where the students would be respectful and do their work. I quoted the scripture in Ephesians several times as I prayed. God's spirit seemed very close.
When the third block students came I sensed an immediate difference in the atmosphere. They sat quietly, did their work and were respectful. There was minimal talking and even when we went to lunch and recreation time outside, they stayed together and I had NO PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER with this class and it was STILL the 8th grade and a LARGER class than first block.
The fourth block was about the same.
So, yes, there IS STILL prayer in PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!! He will answer our cry WHEREVER we are!!!
As first block students came in I greeted them with a smile, introduced myself and gave the assignment the teacher had left on the desk. Most students began doing the work quietly. But there were five boys at one table who seemed oblivious to the fact that there was a teacher in the classroom and I quickly lost control as they became disruptive. They talked loudly, began walking about the room, and throwing paper wads.
One boy was extremely rude and argumentative. He went from one table to the next doing NO WORK at all. After about thirty minutes he suddenly became studious and asked me to help him with the pronunciation of words. When he brought his book to me I saw that he was on the WRONG chapter (purposefully) and only wanted me to pronounce the words because they were about body parts that were a little embarrassing to say out loud. I asked him to sit down. He refused and continued to whine, "But I can't read these words. How do you say THIS? How do you pronounce THIS? Ms. Klass, you won't even help me." He kept this up for three or four minutes really trying my patience. He was a problem the entire time.
Another little boy was so defiant that I wrote him up and sent him to the office. A girl offered to escort him but I heard one of the kids whisper to her, "When you get in the hall, tear up the discipline form." So I called the office and told them he was coming alone.
A couple girls came to the desk at least four times and stuck their paper right under my nose in a demanding way saying, "I can't get this question." I think they had sprayed something on the paper because they would rudely push it in right into my face!
When the buzzer rang for dismissal I couldn't believe what happened. As the children RACED out the door I was hit with a barrage of paper wads and balled up paper!!! They had to have planned this final insult!!! I felt like bursting into tears and going home. (Later, when I thought about it, it seemed rather funny but at the time I was devastated.)
Fortunately second block was a planning block so I collected myself and decided I wouldn't let the situation get the best of me. (Actually, I HAVE been in MUCH worse!!!) I called my husband and mom and asked them to pray for me. I had brought some scripture verses in my bag to try to memorize so I got them out and read the following:
"....and what is the exceeding greatness of His power to usward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, which He wrought in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead, and set Him at His own right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: and hath PUT ALL THINGS UNDER HIS FEET......" (Eph. 1:19-22a)
God prompted me with the thought, "Put the verse into practice!!!" I felt impressed to begin a "prayer walk" around the classroom!!! I walked to each table praying over EVERY CHAIR asking God to give the students a desire to learn. I prayed for a quiet, peaceful, classroom where the students would be respectful and do their work. I quoted the scripture in Ephesians several times as I prayed. God's spirit seemed very close.
When the third block students came I sensed an immediate difference in the atmosphere. They sat quietly, did their work and were respectful. There was minimal talking and even when we went to lunch and recreation time outside, they stayed together and I had NO PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER with this class and it was STILL the 8th grade and a LARGER class than first block.
The fourth block was about the same.
So, yes, there IS STILL prayer in PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!! He will answer our cry WHEREVER we are!!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
The Problem of the Day
I'm sitting in a Special Ed class. All the children have learning disabilities of one sort or another. An eighth grader brings me a "Curious George" book and I listen as he stumbles through a couple of pages. A Downs Syndrome child smiles, shyly inviting me to help him with a learning puzzle.
The PROBLEM OF THE DAY is on the board. It simply says, "SOLVE. WHAT IS 25% of 448?" The students now pore over their calculators thinking hard. "What is 25% of......????" They hopefully lean over their notebooks writing their answers. To them THIS IS SO DIFFICULT.
If only THIS problem of the day was MY problem of the day because I know the answer to THIS one. I smile because it is SO easy. Without a calculator or pencil and paper I can tell you the answer.
The lead teacher makes an announcement. "I'm going to get a drink. WHEN I COME BACK, THE PROBLEM OF THE DAY IS OVER." She quickly leaves the room.
I think about MY problem of the day. I don't know the answer. To me it is very difficult. I imagine God smiling because to Him it is SO easy. He already knows the answer. Then I remember that He said He's coming back. And when He gets back MY PROBLEM OF THE DAY IS OVER!!
The PROBLEM OF THE DAY is on the board. It simply says, "SOLVE. WHAT IS 25% of 448?" The students now pore over their calculators thinking hard. "What is 25% of......????" They hopefully lean over their notebooks writing their answers. To them THIS IS SO DIFFICULT.
If only THIS problem of the day was MY problem of the day because I know the answer to THIS one. I smile because it is SO easy. Without a calculator or pencil and paper I can tell you the answer.
The lead teacher makes an announcement. "I'm going to get a drink. WHEN I COME BACK, THE PROBLEM OF THE DAY IS OVER." She quickly leaves the room.
I think about MY problem of the day. I don't know the answer. To me it is very difficult. I imagine God smiling because to Him it is SO easy. He already knows the answer. Then I remember that He said He's coming back. And when He gets back MY PROBLEM OF THE DAY IS OVER!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
An Evening in Spring
The beauty of Your world cries out to me....
the soft, bare, lacy branches of a tree against a great, white moon,
fragrant crab apple blossoms, lilacs, blooming into the night,
tiny lavender and cream violets almost crushed into the grass,
narcissus' standing tall in their delicately fringed Spring gowns,
newly planted marigolds, staunchly braving the chill evening air,
rows and rows of tulips, spilling color everywhere.
My heart cannot hold it---the beauty of Your world.
Your creativity which brings it into being
Causes praise to rise in me.
Praise that comes from knowing
If You clothe Your world with such amazing care
Your watchful eye, Your constant love, are with me always, everywhere!!
-DBK
the soft, bare, lacy branches of a tree against a great, white moon,
fragrant crab apple blossoms, lilacs, blooming into the night,
tiny lavender and cream violets almost crushed into the grass,
narcissus' standing tall in their delicately fringed Spring gowns,
newly planted marigolds, staunchly braving the chill evening air,
rows and rows of tulips, spilling color everywhere.
My heart cannot hold it---the beauty of Your world.
Your creativity which brings it into being
Causes praise to rise in me.
Praise that comes from knowing
If You clothe Your world with such amazing care
Your watchful eye, Your constant love, are with me always, everywhere!!
-DBK
Friday, February 27, 2009
Ms. Carmel Is Waiting for Us
Ms. Carmel Gore passed away Friday, February 27, 2009. She was 95 years old and a dear friend of mine. Ms. Carmel was clear minded and lucid up to her last moments. When the ambulance came to her home to take her to the hospital she told Pastor Billy Roy, "I don't know if I'll be coming back here." (to her house) When he asked her if she was ready for heaven, she said, "I'm ready for Him if He's ready for me!!" What a great testimony and so typical of Ms. Carmel's succinct way of putting things!!! She clearly knew her surroundings and was aware of what was going on.
I want to relate an experience Ms. Carmel had just before she died because it speaks to me of the closeness of heaven and those who have gone before us. Let me first explain that Ann was Ms. Carmel's older sister and Ms. Carmel was very close to her. Ann passed away five years ago. Doris Ann Wilder, Ms. Carmel's daughter, related that the last time she took Ms. Carmel to visit Ann, Ann said to Ms. Carmel as they were leaving, "I'm going to be waiting for you at the Pearly Gates and I'll hold your hand!"
Now, five years later, Ms. Carmel, lying in the hospital bed, has not said anything for some time when she tries to speak. Her daughter, Doris Ann, is with her when she finally gets the words out. With a clear tone Ms. Carmel says, "I'm in Gloryland! And Ann is holding my hand! She said she would!"
Doris Ann says, "Mom, do you see your mom and dad?" Ms. Carmel says, "I do!" There is a pause and then Ms. Carmel says, "Tell all my family that I'm going to see them in Gloryland and tell everybody else that I want to see them in Gloryland!!!"
This took place Wednesday morning and those were the last words Ms. Carmel spoke. Friday around 2 a.m. Ms. Carmel was restless and seemed to be struggling for breath. Doris Ann put her arm around her and spoke into her ear, "Mom, you know I love you and my family loves you, but if you want to go on to Gloryland, you go ahead!" In three minutes Ms. Carmel was gone!!!! But we know where she is!! Heaven is much closer than we think!!!
I want to relate an experience Ms. Carmel had just before she died because it speaks to me of the closeness of heaven and those who have gone before us. Let me first explain that Ann was Ms. Carmel's older sister and Ms. Carmel was very close to her. Ann passed away five years ago. Doris Ann Wilder, Ms. Carmel's daughter, related that the last time she took Ms. Carmel to visit Ann, Ann said to Ms. Carmel as they were leaving, "I'm going to be waiting for you at the Pearly Gates and I'll hold your hand!"
Now, five years later, Ms. Carmel, lying in the hospital bed, has not said anything for some time when she tries to speak. Her daughter, Doris Ann, is with her when she finally gets the words out. With a clear tone Ms. Carmel says, "I'm in Gloryland! And Ann is holding my hand! She said she would!"
Doris Ann says, "Mom, do you see your mom and dad?" Ms. Carmel says, "I do!" There is a pause and then Ms. Carmel says, "Tell all my family that I'm going to see them in Gloryland and tell everybody else that I want to see them in Gloryland!!!"
This took place Wednesday morning and those were the last words Ms. Carmel spoke. Friday around 2 a.m. Ms. Carmel was restless and seemed to be struggling for breath. Doris Ann put her arm around her and spoke into her ear, "Mom, you know I love you and my family loves you, but if you want to go on to Gloryland, you go ahead!" In three minutes Ms. Carmel was gone!!!! But we know where she is!! Heaven is much closer than we think!!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The Traveller
I just rediscovered this poem by Amy Carmichael. Years ago, while going through a terribly difficult time, I came across it. As I read the words for the first time, tears came to my eyes and I felt that Jesus had entered the room. His comforting presence brought healing to my spirit.
The Traveller
Love, travelling in the greatness of His strength,
Found me alone,
Footsore and tired by the journey's length,
Though I had known,
All the long way, many a kindly air,
And flowers had blossomed for me everywhere.
And yet Love found me needing Him. He stayed;
Love stayed by me.
"Let not thy heart be troubled or dismayed,
My child," said He.
Slipped from me then all troubles, all alarms;
For Love had gathered me into His arms.
The Traveller
Love, travelling in the greatness of His strength,
Found me alone,
Footsore and tired by the journey's length,
Though I had known,
All the long way, many a kindly air,
And flowers had blossomed for me everywhere.
And yet Love found me needing Him. He stayed;
Love stayed by me.
"Let not thy heart be troubled or dismayed,
My child," said He.
Slipped from me then all troubles, all alarms;
For Love had gathered me into His arms.
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